Fairness in the Marlow household

[carmine-rose.livejournal.com]

I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on the fair/unfair treatment of the Marlow young by their parents. I'm thinking specifically the treatment of Nicola by her parents/mother in Cricket Term. Is there anyway this could have been handled better? Should it actually have been Nicola who was going to have to leave? Should they have told her or dropped it on her in the summer holidays? Should they have removed all the girls, or perhaps just both twins?

For that matter, should Lawrie have been given the Prosser? (I know this wasn't her parents' decision, I'm just interested whether people think it was a good judgement call on the part of the staff.)

In a similar vein, what about the horse business in Peter's Room? Was it fair that their mother bought Ginty a horse for her birthday, and said no-one else was to ride it? Was it reasonable to buy herself one before ensuring the children all had equal access to a horse for hunting? In effect, she created a situation where one daughter was the only one in the family who was unable to go hunting (without hiring a horse), which seems harsh to me. But then, I'm from a small family where such unequality with gifts never happened - is this normal for a large family? Was Lawrie's reaction reasonable, or did other readers take it as just one more example of her throwing whiny tantrums?

These two occasions seemed to me to best illustrate Mrs. Marlow's failings as a mother (and also perhaps where the children got their selfishness) - I wondered if anyone else felt the same.

Can anyone else think of any other examples of this kind of thing? Or of fairer treatment?

Comments

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Er, no, I didn't. I took it for granted. When my parents did splurge on a new outfit for me, it was practically a family occasion (I didn't actually get to choose the one I'm thinking about but I believe a couple of sisters were involved in the choice and I wore it for two years until I outgrew it, I loved it so much).

I am from a largish family and grew up next door to what I regard as my own personal Trennels and we didn't get sniffy about that sort of thing. There clearly wasn't enough money to go around to provide everything for everyone, and my sisters certainly didn't gripe when I finally got my riding lessons - any more than I griped when they got stuff they wanted.

The nearest we got to griping about that sort of thing was when one sister managed to persuade my mother to buy her a strapless dress for her first ballgown because the elder ones hadn't been allowed one - and then they all borrowed it for their own purposes! But that was a gripe about different standards, not different treatment.

[carmine-rose.livejournal.com]

But also, there's a difference between not caring and not complaining, as Rowan points out to Lawrie. Did you actually not care? I'm not saying I don't believe you, it's a genuine question.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

I cared - but not much. I'd rather have had other stuff than the clothes, and didn't, for example, envy the friends who had much cooler clothes. The only girl I really envied clotheswise was the one whose mother allowed her to wear jeans to our (non-uniform) primary school - but that was an issue of standards. I certainly owned jeans (including a memorable pair of gloriously comfortable flared ones that originally belonged to a male cousin and my mother was *mortified* that I insisted on wearing them).

I was very much brought up with an idea that clothes didn't matter that much as a child, and it definitely had an impact on me.