trennels | (no subject)

Hello all. I'm new here. I posted a comment a while ago anonymously as a response to another post, but hadn't realised that people don't really go back and continue older discussions. So now that I've got a proper log-in name and can start a new post, I thought I'd copy it here.

I've just been on a re-read of my books, and something struck me about the Marlow parents - they don't actually seem to know their children all that well. Maybe it's just a generation gap, or mabye it's because the children are away at boarding schools so much, or maybe it is something about their characters - they are not very observant or involved parents, at the least.

For example: Mrs Marlow gives the twins the lovely party dresses in Run Away Home, because (paraphrasing) "Karen/Rowan(?) commented how awful it must be for the two of you always having second-hand clothes". Why was it one of them who needed to point that out? Surely any fairly obvservant parent might have noticed that fact herself? Another example: When she writes to Nicola about leaving Kingscote, while she knows Nicola enough to know that she's the more sensible one and the better choice to have to leave, she doesn't really know how Nicola will react - again, it's Rowan who tells her Mum that Nicola would rather know if it was a possibility. Even back in Autumn Term and the twins are describing the Court of Honour, it's one of the others (can't remember who) and not the parents, that "suddenly sees how it had been", how the filthy full dress and formality of it all had made Lawrie tearful and Nicola tongue-tied, and the parents have to have it spelled out. It's Ann who notices that Nick is upset by the other laughing at their efforts to be credits to the family. There are various other examples as well, including some about the other children, where the parents ask "dumb" questions and the other children fill them in on what the other one is thinking or feeling. I can't think of many right now, as it's the Nick ones that stick in my mind, since I have most sympathy for her being misunderstood, but I remember noticing them when I was reading that it happened to the others as well.

The parents don't seem to have nearly as good a grasp on the emotional lives of their children as I might have expected: they don't know why they're reacting in a certain way, they don't see beyond the surface, they aren't as good at predicting how a particular one will react, etc.

On the other hand, I have never been to a boarding school, and I've never had children, so the separation from the parents/lots of time spent with sisters, and the generation gap, might have much stronger effects than I realised, and maybe it's not specially the parents' fault.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't think that parents do neccessarily understand everything that goes on in their children's lives. Also, the way the Marlow 'rents are written makes them seem realistic from the perspective of Nicola & Lawrie - they don't understand why something like being chucked out of Guides is such a big deal.

Also, I always thought the Marlow parents weren't that old. I can t remember which book its in, but I had the impression that Mrs Marlow was only about 19 when she got married - assuming she had Giles about a year afterwards, that males her only about 40 when the books are written (and I always did wonder if maybe there was a shotgun wedding and that s why Madam Orly objected to the relationship so)

Oh, I don't think they're incredibly older -- but for the twins, they're at least another half a generation removed than they were when Giles was teh same age, and I think that makes a difference.

In "The Ready-Made Family", the main reason Mrs. Marlow doesn't want to stop Kay (who's under 21) from marrying is that she was under 21 when Geoff Marlow proposed to her. Mrs. Marlow's mother was dead against the marriage, but Geoff had announced the wedding in the Times and at the Hunt Ball, so it couldn't be prevented without creating a gossip's field day.

DSR