Y HALO THAR MARLOEZ

[owl]

With some trepidation I present the Marlows in LOLCAT.
This started off as a joke to ankaret, and now I seem to be producing them at the rate (and order) that doyle_sb4's working through the series. In other words, there will probably be more at some point.
That trundling sound you hear would be Antonia Forest rotating in her grave.


Autumn Term


Lawrie: WE AM GOIN 2 B SUPER LIEK OTHER MARLOEZ.

Nicola: STFU, LAL. I HAS NIFE WIT SIXTEEN BLADEZ.

Tim: L33T.

Nicola: OH NOEZ! Y NIFE B GONE?

Karen:WOE NICOLA B DED.

Miss Cromwell: Y FOAR TRAIN B STOPPED?

Karen & Nicola: WOEZ.

---

Twins: WE B AR IN THIRD REMOOV, OH NOEZ!

Ginty: LOLZ.

---

Tim: I PICKED U A PAER BUT I ETTED IT.

Nicola: DO NOT WANT.

---

Lawrie: CAN HAS NETBALL TAEM NAO?

Rowan & Ginty: LOLZ.

Ann: HAS FUNZ PLAYIN ROUNDERZ.

Lawrie: KRIEZ.

---

Twins: WE AM B JOININ GUIDEZ NAO PLZ?

Twins: WERE ON UR HIKE, PLAYIN WIT UR MATCHEZ.

Farmer: OH NOEZ Y U BURN MI FARM?

Court of Honour: DOES NOT WANT.

Lawrie: KRIEZ.

---

Giles: WAT UP, TWINZ?

Assorted Marlows: TWINZ B USELESS AT EVERTHIN, LOLZ.

Nicola: KRIEZ.

Giles: Y U NO B BAD? (SEKRIT LOLZ)

---

Nicola: I B RUNNIN AWAY 2 SEA NAO KTHANXBAI.

Giles: DO NOT WANT!

---

Third Remove: WE HAS STALLZ NAO PLZ?

Miranda: HAS KITCHEN & JUMBLE LOLZ.

Third Remove: DO NOT WANT.

Tim: IM IN UR LIBRARY PLAGIARISIN UR TWAIN.

Third Remove: YAYZ! WE ALL B GUDE ACTIN EXCEPT MARIE.

Everyone: LAWRIE B GRATE ACTRESS BUT DONT TELL HUR.

Lawrie: I ALREDDY KNOEZ, DUH.

Miss Redmond: U NO BURN FARM, COM BAK 2 GUIDEZ.

Twins: DO NOT WANT.

Nicola: WE HAS TIDINESS PRIEZ NAO 2. WE B SUPER LIEK OTHER MARLOEZ.

Third Remove: WE B BRILLIANT ECKSENTICKS, YAY!







The Marlows and the Traitor, by ankaret


Foley: I'M IN UR FISHIN VILLAGE, IGNORIN MAI CADET

--

Nicola: I CAN HAS DUBIOUS FREINDSHIP WITH MUCH OLDER MAN LOLZ?

Anquetil: LOLZ

--

Foley: I'M IN MAI HOUSE, KIDNAPPIN UR MARLOWS

Lawrie: OMG SPIEZ DO NOT WANT

Lawrie: OH NOEZ INVISIBLE BUS FARE!

Driver: OMG WTF BBQ?



--
Nicola: OH HAI, I HAS SUGARED UR ENGIEN

Foley: U CAN BE GOIN ON SUBMARINE TIEM PLZ

Ginty: NO WAI

Peter: I'M ON UR BEACH SHOOTIN UR ADMIRAL

Anquetil: I HAS A SHIPZ

Submarine: DO NOT WANT

Submarine: BAI

--

Marlow house: -- I CAN HAS DRAINZ.







The Ready-Made Family, by thewhiteowl again

Karen: I HAS HUMAN MANZ

Karen: WIT 3 TINY CHILDZ

Marlows: DO NOT WANT

---

Mr Tranter: DIEZ (ALMOST)

Rowan: WOEZ

Karen: I CAN HAS UR HOUSE NAO?

---

Rose: IM IN UR ATTIC READING UR BOOKZ

Chas: IM ON UR RAILWAI SPOTTIN UR TRANEZ

Fob: I LUVZ PETER

Peter: I MADE U TOAST AND U ETTED IT.

---

Chas: I CAN HAS DOG FOR BIRTHDAY?

Edwin: DO NOT WANT

Marlows: WERE ON UR BEACH, GIVIN U PUPPY

Chas: IM ON UR RAILWAI LINE, COPYIN UR RAILWAI CHILDREN

Nicola: CHAZ? U DED?

Chas: NO

Edwin: LOZEZ IT

Edwin: IM IN UR KITCHIN HITTIN UR PETER

Peter: OWIEZ

Mrs Marlow: WOEZ NO CHANCE OF AMICABLE RELATIONSHIP WITH IN-LAWS NAO

Rose: I IZ B LEAVIN NAO

---

Nicola: IM IN UR OXFORD SEEIN UR SITES

Nicola: I MEEN LOOKIN FOAR MI ROSE

"Uncle" Gerry: I AM B UR UNCLE WHAT WAS NEVAH MENTIONED BEFOAR

Rose: I GOIN TO MI MUMMY

Nicola: WTF BBQ STRANGER DANGER

"Uncle" Gerry: GET IN CAR, HUMAN CHILDZ

Nicola: I STABZ U WIT NIFE

Edwin: HAS TAXI

Nicola: OH HAI I HAS FINDED UR DAUGHTER

Nicola: POLICE PLZ NAO

"Uncle" Gerry: IZ ARRESTED

Everyone: IT CAN B HOME TIEM NAO?






Attic Term

Ginty: I HAS A PATRICK

Nicola: WOEZ

Patrick: I HATEZ SKOOL

Nicola: I AM B BORROWIN PATRICK

Ginty: WOEZ

Patrick: I HATEZ SKOOL. I HATEZ VATICAN 2.


---

Twins: WE HAS NO DRESSES

Twins: WOEZ

Miranda: I HAS RONG DRESS. WOEZ.

Nicola: PRETTY.

---

Ginty: MONICA B DED. WOEZ.

Nicola: IM IN UR OFFICE USIN UR FONE.

Nicola: MONICA NO DED, IDIOT.

---

Twins: WE HAS TROUSERZ FROM DODGY SHOP.

Dodgy shop owner: HAS POT.

Miranda: DO NOT WANT.
---

Ginty: IM IN UR SKOOL, PHONIN MI BOYFREIND

Patrick: I HATEZ SKOOL. I HATEZ VATICAN 2.

---

UIVB: WANTZ CLOTHZ.

UVIB: WERE IN UR DODGY SHOP, SELLIN OUR CLOTHEZ.

Miss Keith: WHER UR CLOTHEZ?

Miss Keith: WTF DRUGZ

Miss Keith: BLOODY MARLOEZ AGAIN.

---
Patrick: I HATEZ SKOOL

Ginty: IM IN UR OFFICE, READIN OUT UR EXAM

Patrick: DO NOT WANT

Adults: WFT CHEATIN

---

Patrick: I HATEZ SKOOL. I CAN HAS MATHZ EXAM NAO?

Headmaster: DO NOT WANT

Patrick: I AM B EKSPELLED! I B DANCIN TO ANTI-CATHOLIC SONGZ AN SNOGGIN FRENCH WOMANZ.

Claudie: LESS LIEK RABID WASHIN MACHIN, PLZ

---

Ginty: I HAS CONDUCT MARK. WOEZ

Nicola: I HAS CONDUCT MARK. WOEZ.

Lawrie: I CAN HAS CONDUCT MARK TOO NAO?

Nicola: STFU U HORRIBLE WEE EKSIBITIONIST

---

UIVA: SINGZ

---

Miranda: U CAN HAS MI DRESS.

Nicola: KTHANXBAI.

Comments

[miss-lilley.livejournal.com]

"IM IN UR LIBRARY PLAGIARISIN UR TWAIN"

I think I may be about to die of laughing. The tragedy is that I know nobody other than me who has read AF and would get LOLCAT...

[(Anonymous)]

Miss Keith: WTF DRUGZ

Miss Keith: BLOODY MARLOEZ AGAIN.

Love the idea of Miss Keith saying WTF! Must admit I've never come across LOLCAT before, but this is very funny.

Liz

[helenprev.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful! Trying not to giggle too loudly because

a) The children are still asleep and
b) Explaining Marlows and LOLCAT to my husband would be impossible!

[jen-c-w.livejournal.com]

oh my gosh.
this is utter genius.
because I know the attic term best I think I liked that one best, but it is all superb.
I particularly liked:
Ginty: MONICA B DED. WOEZ.
many thanks to all...

[glittermouse.livejournal.com]

Nicola: OH HAI, I HAS SUGARED UR ENGIEN

Genius. You have just made my day.

[thekumquat.livejournal.com]

Patrick: I HATEZ SKOOL. I HATEZ VATICAN 2.

Ow...

[meerium.livejournal.com]

can this please be marked not work safe, because you either have to snigger behind your hand whilst reading and hope no one notices, and follow that up with lots of trying not to laugh at intervals when remembering bits; or else explain what you're laughing at to bewildered colleagues, who figure you must be slightly insane.

i think i want:

Claudie: LESS LIEK RABID WASHIN MACHIN, PLZ

on a t-shirt.

[robvic.livejournal.com]

Has to be said I'd never heard of LOLCAT before, but that was fab!

DIEZ

[tabouli.livejournal.com]

Except...

..."BBQ", WTF? (Be Back Quick? Big Bad Quail?)

Re: DIEZ

[(Anonymous)]

BBQ = bitch be quiet!

I LOVE these, even though I am strictly speaking too old and not down enough with the kidz to be coversant with lolcat or l33t.

Re: DIEZ

[(Anonymous)]

BBQ = bitch be quiet!

I LOVE these, even though I am strictly speaking too old and not down enough with the kidz to be conversant with lolcat or l33t.

Re: DIEZ

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

The 'BBQ' in 'OMG WTF BBQ' stands for 'barbecue' - it's a sort of metacomment on l33t's incomprehensibility. Urban Dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=omgwtfbbq) seems to think it probably started out on Something Awful - it's also got the 'bitch be quiet' and 'be back quick' etymologies as possibles, which suggests that, really, no one knows what it means. It's sort of Zen like that.

[leapingirbis.livejournal.com]

These are excellent. Loved:

Edwin: IM IN UR KITCHIN HITTIN UR PETER

Peter: OWIEZ

[mrs-redboots.livejournal.com]

Utterly, utterly brilliant! Quite made my day, many thanks.

[stripydinosaur.livejournal.com]

Really, really funny! Thanks for the link to lolcat in wikipedia, 'cos otherwise I would have been vaguely bemused. Loved -
STFU U HORRIBLE WEE EKSIBITIONIST
- and hope to be able to use it in conversation one day!

[richenda.livejournal.com]

Splendid! May we copy?

[(Anonymous)]

OMG I be cackling leik loon

"Tim: IM IN UR LIBRARY PLAGIARISIN UR TWAIN."

Diez!

(Promethea)

[miss-lilley.livejournal.com]

Only just noticed

"Marlow house: -- I CAN HAS DRAINZ."

moar marloez plzkthnx.

[badgerbag.livejournal.com]

i can't believe so many other people in the world get this... YAY!

[elizahonig.livejournal.com]

I had never heard of LOLCAT but this is superlatively wonderful. I laughed so much that my partner shut down the computer and stomped off to bed in annoyance. There was no explaining it to the children, either.

[ex-lizzzar998.livejournal.com]

thanks very much for this - it is entirely hilarious.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

This is absolute brilliance - thank you!

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

BRILL. NRLY DIEZ OF LOLZ.

[(Anonymous)]

Patrick: I AM B EKSPELLED! I B DANCIN TO ANTI-CATHOLIC SONGZ AN SNOGGIN FRENCH WOMANZ.

Claudie: LESS LIEK RABID WASHIN MACHIN, PLZ

Brilliant!!

(Paula)